I swear the tiny dogs are exerting mind control as I sleep. I came up with this list of demands, somehow magically benefiting them. Hmm.
1. Go everywhere with your Person.
2. Get carried most of the time. All of the time is better.
3. Poop indoors. Someone else will clean it up.
4. Perfect a repertoire of cuteness to increase allotment of treats.
5. Lick human faces to focus attention solely on you, so they don’t stray and read books, watch tv, use laptops, phones, or even write in a notebook.
6. Institute parrot-on-shoulder sitting. The view is best from up there.
7. Get the humans to turn the heat on early in the fall and leave it on late in the spring.
8. Make sure dogs beds are in front of heat vents.
9. Get as close to the human’s food plate as possible while guarding it from all other creatures in the house.
10. Command central lap territory.
11. Make concessions: wear the damn, cute sweater.
12. Inspire joyful dancing.
13. Sneak cat food, sneak cat poop.
14. Hint to your Person to shop the internet for a sling to be carried in.
15. Ride on the driver’s lap to prevent lapse of attention-paying to you.
16. If all else fails, keep barking. They will eventually give you what you want.
|George in action: revving up for a bark.|